We start life with the first quarter of it mapped out for us, it isn’t until we have jumped through all the hoops that our parents and society set out for us that we stop and realise the rest of our life is one huge uncertainty.
Primary school
Secondary school
College
University
From then on we are on our own.
The 8 year plan has given us a vague time scale in which to
get the important things done. These are the hoops we have set out for
ourselves to achieve in 8 years, with the end goal leaving us ‘happy and
content’:
Find ‘the one’, convince him to propose, survive the
engagement, get married and have 3 children; whilst simultaneously find and
maintain a job to fund said hoops.
I both appreciate and dispute the 8 year plan.
Suppose we complete the 8 year plan successfully and are
still not completely satisfied? Say we fall at the last hurdle and spend the
rest of our lives love-less and childless? I feel we need a back-up plan to the
8 year plan. A plan B. I refuse to believe that this is all what life is.
I have been with my boyfriend since I started university
back in 2011. Being the year above me, he was a second year when I was a
fresher (coincidentally) at the same university. He had his year of being a
fresher to do as he pleased which I sometimes secretly envy. I first met
Patrick when I was 13 years old at our secondary school talent show. Although I
initially ‘fancied him first’ my two best friends went out with him (and dumped
him) before he noticed me and asked me out. We went out until I was 16 when I
decided I needed to be on my own and experience boys like any other teenager
(Spin the bottle, drunken snogs on the trampoline at house parties etc). It
turned out I wasn’t that great at being on my own and was constantly looking
for attention from guys in order to feel self-worth. On reflection, this is
ridiculous and 2015 me would tell 2010 me to stop being so pathetic.
The decision to get back with Patrick in 2011 was one I was
initially thrilled about. Although it quickly became apparent we were not the
same people we were back in secondary school. It took about a year of arguing
and tears and make up sex to work out how to make the relationship work successfully.
We both said and did things that were wrong and would have broken any other couple
up. Fortunately, after that year, we settled and were finally happy with our
relationship.
Our plans for the future?
We don’t have any.
Which is ok.
He has begun to make plans to move to Bristol and flat share
with his guy friends from home. He has a secure job to which he can commute to and
where he can only move up. I am so proud and pleased for him.
But where does that leave me and more specifically the 8
year plan?
Currently a completely broke student with dreams of
travelling the world but with the reality of moving back with her parents and
searching for a job that she will be inevitably stuck in for the next 60 years
of her life. Wow when do I start?!
The cynic in me believes that these 8 years are going to be
full of disappointment and ‘settling’. The optimist in me rejects this
refutably and knows it will be hard at times but worth it in the long run.
Today the cynic is controlling the keyboard but that’s ok,
tomorrow is a new day J
No. 8
@8yearplan #eightyearplan
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