No. 6 - The Eight Year Plan: HOW DO YOU ACT SINGLE?

Where do you start when trying to outline your life? The beginning I guess… As far as I know I had a pretty ‘normal’ childhood. A standard house, with two parents and wonderful (even though slightly annoying) siblings – one older brother and one older sister. After numerous holidays, play dates and playground games I soon found myself in secondary school, year 8, age 12. This is where I finally saw the opposite sex as more than someone to play fight, climb trees and play dress up with. This was all replaced extremely quickly with lip gloss, fashion and looking ‘cool’. I was introduced to a world where I had to think before eating, speaking and even walking to create the right impression. Year 8 flew by with a string of 1 week long boyfriends and secret kisses behind the bike shed, until year 9. This is where my long term boyfriend became apparent and for 5 long years, it was wonderful. Together we had been through so much and during this time, at age 16, my parents decided to separate. My whole world fell apart. No warning signs, nothing. Parents don’t break up after almost 25 years of marriage do they? Mum moved out, and my life as I knew it had completely changed.

In 2011, age 18, I moved to university and so did my boyfriend. Mutually we decided to end things to explore single life, both in brand new cities, and begin a new adventure singularly. As well as the stress of living with in a new city, new housemates and a new course, I had to do this without the one person who has helped me through everything! HOW DO YOU ACT SINGLE!? With no experience of this throughout my teenage years, I was clueless and extremely useless!

Three and a half years on, with many one night flings, messy short term flings and constant heart ache, I find myself in my last year of university, age 22, 2015. I guess for me I have always had an image of being married with a child on the way at the age of 30. The struggle to get to this involves so much more than anything I could have ever imagined. Since my parent’s separation in 2009, I have changed profoundly. From a shy, loved-up, carefree teenager, with no real grasp on the ‘real world’ I sit here today 1 stone heavier, still single. Heart-break, a cold exterior, a wall built so high that nobody can get through and commitment phobia are all characteristics which I cannot seem to shake. In 8 short years I’m meant to find the person I love and be married with children!? Is marriage even worth it if 40-60% of marriages end in divorce? Will I even be able to have children? Will I even be able to love anyone? Or will anyone love me? These are all questions which arise daily on my journey through the eight year plan.

No. 6

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